If you are at a crossroads, know that God is very present.

I just finished Tessa Afshar’s latest book, The Peasant King, which takes place in 520BC. She has a scene where Jemmah, a daughter, must help her mother, who’s broken her arm. Deep in a remote forest, medical help is nowhere near. Jemmah quotes King Jehoshaphat who calls out to God in the face of a fierc battle he feels sure to loose. From Chronicles 20:12:

God, we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

Have you ever read a scripture outside of church or a devotional and felt as if you were hearing it for the first time? I did when I read this verse.

When faced with a big decision, where a path is divided, we can become paralyzed with how to proceed. This verse made me think of two tremendous decisions.

I married at twenty three and was in my ninth year of marriage. I didn’t think I wanted children and said as much when we met. But then I changed my mind and wanted to start a family. I suggested meeting with a counselor, but my husband disagreed reminding me of what we had agreed upon. It wasn’t the only thing, but it was a significant disagreement. My marriage commitment weighed heavy on my heart. How could I live with breaking this promise that I said before God, my family, and friends? And how could I live with my dream of starting a family in a tenuous relationship?  The shame I felt was palpable. I poured my heart out to a counselor and my mother. They both listened but didn’t give advice. I had to make this decision myself. After a painful year and lots of prayers, as challenging as it was, we decided to part.

I started a new job with a competing company.  After just two months, the company was going through a reorganization. They gave me the option to move to NY or be let go. I lived in San Francisco for 15 years. My life was there, with friends, church, and home. Lord, what’s going on? Was God punishing me for my divorce? It sure felt like it. Have you ever felt a bit like Job? I spent many hours alone and asked God to show me what to do.

Working late one night, I felt a presence communicating with me. Like seeing the words or hearing them but not out loud. Does that make sense? The message was “Go to New York; I have plans for you.” I was sure this wasn’t from my conscious. And a warmth, like a wave of comfort flowed over me. God was not absent from my life. He had not abandoned me. He knew my heart and how much I grieved breaking my marriage commitment with the many prayers I shared with Him.  With surety of the words I heard, I ventured on this new road He set out for me.

 

 

 

What do you do to help you decide?

 

 

 

Jehoshaphat faced three nations and went to the Lord in prayer. God’s Spirit fell to a man named Jahaziel, “Do not be afraid or discouraged … the battle is not yours, but God’s … Stand firm and see the deliverance God will give you … Go out to face them … the Lord will be with you.” With this inspiration, the next day, Jehosphaphat appointed singers to go before his army with Psalm 106:1:

Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

God delivered Jehoshaphat’s army without them even going into battle!

As for me, I cherish Roger, my loving husband, his son, daughter and now grandchildren. They are not my biological children, but there is a deep love and connection to family.  Roger shares his commitment and love of our Lord and serving him with his talents and supports me in mine. It is a journey that is more than I could ever have dreamed.

When at a crossroads facing challenges know in your heart that God is very present. It may not seem so, but this is when we need to trust.

God, we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

It may not be on your time or the way you expected, but He has a plan for each of us. When we ask in prayer, know he will answer you. Let us give thanks for our faithful God.

May we all take time to come apart as we enter into our Easter week ahead.

Blessings to you and yours!