How Do We Live in a Divided World?

How are we talking to one another these days? If we read the press or visit Facebook or social media, I wonder if the world has ever been like this, where we implode on one another with vitriol, angry comments, and false accusations? People post their daily struggles with loved ones who see things differently than they do. Are you facing this, too, in your family, friends, or neighbors?

My husband, Roger, and I visited Cambodia and had a tour guide who told us about how the Khmer Rouge took almost his whole family, parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, and two brothers. He didn’t know where they were for many years; he had to hide as others did to escape their cruelty. Only later did he find out they had all died in death camps. His hatred bore into him for many years, and finally, the weight of carrying his hate was too much, and through his faith, he forgave all those who took everything from him in a ceremony of forgiveness. We are still in touch with him today.

Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ‘This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Mathew 22:36-39

I don’t know if I could do that, but he inspires Roger and me to see how people can love their neighbor to the point of an actual enemy and heal themselves through forgiveness.

We can also love our neighbor by being present and listening without criticism. Stephen Covey, an author and speaker, said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Do you ever find yourself doing that? I admit I have.

I recall a story about Daryl Davis, an R&B and blues musician, who, at a concert, was approached by a man who said it was the first time he had heard a black man play like Jerry Lee Lewis. Davis explained, “Jerry Lee learned to play from black blues and boogie-woogie piano players, and he’s a friend of mine.”

The man admitted that he was a member of the KKK, and Daryl then invited him to meet and to understand why someone could hate him if they didn’t know him. He ended up talking to many KKK members who, after several conversations, were inspired by Davis to leave the organization. As a symbol of leaving hate behind, they gave him their robes. By actively listening to understand, Daryl was then able to share his thoughts in a peaceful exchange. When asked why he had these conversations, “I never set out to convert anyone. I just wanted answers. But the more we talked, the more they saw my humanity — and I saw theirs.”

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Proverbs 15:1

When Nelson Mandela left prison, he said: “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

May we find ways to channel the noise, the hate, the division among us, and learn ways to love each other.

Let us ask ourselves, “Who is my neighbor?” And answer with love.