Who Are We When Someone Falls?
“Encourage one another and build each other up.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I’ve loved ice skating at the Olympics since I was a little girl. The graceful movements amaze me – with such creativity, strength, and ingenuity all choreographed in sync to the music.
Like many others, I watched as the crowd reacted to Ilia Malinin’s uncharacteristic performance. Commentators emphasized their surprise. Expectations were repeated for each jump that didn’t happen. After his third fall, I ached for him as he looked down at the ice with a tight clenched flinch. With the next fall, the crowd “Oh’s” weren’t of delight but with dismay. At the end of his performance, he cried into his hands, but even in his state, he went and hugged the surprised now Gold Winner while the crowd cheered him on.
But then there is social media.
The recording has been broadcast, analyzed, and critiqued worldwide. With words like disastrous, devastating, bailed, and the “Quad God falls.” And he responded as you might suspect to it all.
It reminded me of a time early in my career when I was with an important client. I was living in San Francisco then, and she invited me to dinner at the Fairmont, the elegant hotel where she was staying. At a nearby table, I noticed Danny Kaye dining, an actor I’d come to love from his film Hans Christian Andersen. I thought of the scene where he sings “The Ugly Duckling” to the little boy who was shunned by other kids because his hair had to be shaved for an operation.
When we left, I mentioned seeing him. My client responded with something like, “Oh, that old has been, never liked him, he wasn’t one of the greats.” She went on but I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it wasn’t kind.
As we turned the corner, Danny Kaye turned away. She didn’t see him, but I did. I saw the pain on his face. His lip trembled as he lowered his head.
I wished I had walked up to him and told him how much I enjoyed his movies. But I didn’t. I was too intimidated to risk upsetting my client. I’ve thought about that moment many times and how I wished I had listened to my heart instead of being silent. I regret being part of a moment causing someone pain.
“The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.” Luke 22:61.
Who are we when someone falls, and it plays out in a public space? Do we have the courage to stand up for someone even though it may cost us? I relate to Peter. I feel that same sting of shame for not stepping forward about Danny Kaye.
It’s a story I’ve carried for 35 years, and though I can’t change that moment, it’s helped me to choose bravery in others.
When someone’s face is exposed to failure, we can look away or look and act with compassion.
I learned there are moments you don’t get back.
A fall is not the end of a story, but how we respond to someone’s fall may become part of ours.
