How the Hebrew Word Hineni Brought Peace to Me.

I boarded my flight, fighting back tears. I hadn’t slept at all. My brother and I had a terrible fight, one I was sure would end our relationship. I mechanically stored my carry on and took my aisle seat buried in coach. I just wanted to sob.

The woman next to me quietly asked, “Are you alright? Can I do something for you?”

And I don’t know why. Perhaps it was her compassionate eyes and voice. I started crying with all my heart. She offered her hand and said, “I am here if you want to talk.” Once I gulped down my sobs, I spilled out my story to a total stranger.

On my last day visiting my brother, I wanted to go to Staples to print out a project. I was sending it to the founder of The Network of Biblical Storytellers, an organization I’d just joined. The founder was a professor of theology and author of several books. My brother though had other priorities, as he had all week. It was the last straw for me. Years of frustration regarding my brother’s behavior boiled over and I exploded.

It didn’t elude me that my project was going to a man of the cloth.

I saw the hurt in my brother’s eyes and now regretted my awful reaction.

After listening intently, my seatmate introduced herself as Jewish and asked me if I knew the word “Hineni.” She told me it meant, “I am here” and also it means readiness to act without hesitation. It also signified a turning point for those who answered. She shared stories from the Old Testament where it was used.

When Moses saw the burning bush and heard God’s call, Moses responded, “Hineni” and then went back to Egypt to free the Israelites.

When Samuel was asleep and heard a voice thinking it was his teacher, He said, “Hineni.” When Eli tells him to answer the next time to the Lord, he does, and the Lord stayed with Samuel.

When God called Abraham, he replied, “Hineni” before he knew what the request was. He begins on God’s directive to sacrifice his son, and again says “Hineni” when God tells him to find a sheep to sacrifice instead.

She suggested I tell the Lord, “Hineni,” and to listen to his guidance. On a plane a total stranger prayed over me, but no longer estranged. We talked the entire flight.

I wish I could tell this woman how much she gave to me. She was the embodiment of Hineni by witnessing to me, bolstering me when I was in despair.

This happened 30 years ago and I still carry this interaction in my heart. Taking her advice, God led me to a resolution entailing patience, compassion, and a sense of humor. I’m thankful my brother and I have talked every week now and have for many years. I’m a proud aunt and visit with him and my niece at least twice a year.

This wasn’t just a lesson for the interaction with my brother. We all have circumstances where we have disagreements, feel hurt, neglected and may lash out. My inspiration was Jesus and his patience with the disciples, the compassion for healing the sick, and the sense of humor he must have had to interact with people.

We just celebrated Easter and God is Hineni, He is here. Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice for us to live as forgiven people. When we regret our actions or words, let us turn to the Lord and say,                                                                                                     “Hineni, I am here Lord.”

Let us go without hesitation to follow His will.

Now it’s your turn, what helps you to tame anger?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

*The inspiration for this blog came from a dear friend who recently passed, Lucinda Secrest McDowell. She chose Hineni as her word for the year. It brought back this memory.

How to pronounce Hineni: hee-NAY-nee. To listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIKRRxhGrYI